Hey Beer League Fans!
Barely launched at http://www.farparker.com/, and I'm already receiving jokes emailed to me from friends, family and crazed super hot goalie groupie chicks (okay...there just ain't many of those out there, but us goalies can always hold out hope).
I'll keep adding to this as I go, until such time as we create a forum posting for the best of the best hockey jokes out there! Enjoy...
A True Canadian Hockey Fan. It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there... "No," says the neighbour, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?" The neighbour says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or a relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
Subject: Canadian priorities. Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. She has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names, she always says, "just some friends from work, you don't know them." I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with her, I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my hockey equipment so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls.' When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at THAT moment, crouching behind my hockey gear, that I noticed a hairline crack where the blade meets the graphite shaft on my new one piece hockey stick. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it? Please Advise, Pete
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we' d both still be alive
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