Follow Up To Andrew Raycroft Backup Goalie Rant!

Okay,

So apparantly I'm not the only one having fun with backup goalie glee right now - our good friends at The Province's Kurtenblog wrote an awesome analysis of the various backup goalie types (check it out: Get To Know Your Backup Goalies). Yet check out whose photo is in there - Andrew's, of course!!

Having just finished watching the Canucks feed it to the Rangers 4-1, I wanted to quickly readdress a few things I mentioned in my last blog on Raycroft.

First, I feel an "I told you so" warrants mention here...after all, was it not your famous Puckgobbling beer league goalie that said he loves Raycroft's style, and the amount of playing he receives in practice will be fine for prepping him when needed? If you saw him play tonight, you'll know that boy is in fine form, even with a reduced roster of Canucks in front of him.

As for fan experience, he keeps playing like this Coach Alan is gonna have connips on who to start when B.Lou gets back. You have to admit, as great as Luongo is, it's just kinda neat to watch Raycroft in the pipes every now and then. His style is different (I just love his "sit my ass right on the puck" butterfly style), and catching him red-handed starting at the School Girl Ice Cleaner was simply as priceless a moment as you're gonna get.

Now, in his defence, I would argue that is a half-decent perk, as Craig Anderson shows us in this photo (courtesy of HFBoards.com), and we could go on all week about whether we will start seeing U.S.-style "Ice Girls" here in Canada (I heard Montreal is toying with this idea), but let's leave that for another post...

At any rate, the Canucks are missing some key talent, including a $6 Million goalie, and if a backup goalie guy earning half a MIL can keep the excitement level going like he is, there just might be hope for all us "wannabe benchwarmers" yet!!

CBC's Battle of the Blades...WTF???

Hey CBC Hockey Fans,

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I just watched the new CBC "Battle of the Blades" show last night (www.cbc.ca/battle). As a beer league goalie, I'll admit I'm often interested in hearing what some of the retired NHL guys are up to...do they play beer league? Did they get real world jobs? Retire on an island somewhere? Well...for a few of them last night, I found out...

In all honesty, if CBC hadn't done such a good job of going out and finding Canada's cutest female figure skaters to put on this show, it would have died on the vine before the rink was half frozen. I mean, come on..."The Cutting Edge" was released back in 1992 and here we are SEVENTEEN YEARS later and this is the best the creative 'gurus' at CBC can come up with? Boy...give those guys an "A+" for originality...If it weren't for Moira Kelly's cute smile, figure and short skirts, that movie would have bombed hard as well. And poor Deebey Sweeny - how many times would you have put up with Moira shouting "toe pick" at you before showing her into the boards?

I'll admit - figure skating is hard, and my own skills are NOWHERE near this caliber. Yet after watching this show though, it's obviously way too hard to learn enough in a few short weeks to make anything remotely worth interesting on this show...which is why CBC went with the 'cute pack' of female skaters. Good Lord Claude Lemiux...was your attempt to get back into the NHL last season nothing but a training camp to apply for a spot on this show??? Yes...everyone will put some cash in the bank, CBC will sell some ads to support the show and Ron McClean gets a little more face time. But without Don Cherry doing the commentating, I just don't think this show cuts it. (Sorry Hrudey...you're okay, but I'd rather hear Don tell these people what the hell they should have been doing out there!)

Hockey Jokes - Some Good, Some Bad

Hey Beer League Fans!

Barely launched at http://www.farparker.com/, and I'm already receiving jokes emailed to me from friends, family and crazed super hot goalie groupie chicks (okay...there just ain't many of those out there, but us goalies can always hold out hope).

I'll keep adding to this as I go, until such time as we create a forum posting for the best of the best hockey jokes out there! Enjoy...

A True Canadian Hockey Fan. It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there... "No," says the neighbour, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?" The neighbour says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or a relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

Subject: Canadian priorities. Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. She has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names, she always says, "just some friends from work, you don't know them." I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with her, I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my hockey equipment so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls.' When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at THAT moment, crouching behind my hockey gear, that I noticed a hairline crack where the blade meets the graphite shaft on my new one piece hockey stick. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it? Please Advise, Pete

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we' d both still be alive

My Take on Andrew Raycroft Backing up Luongo

Hey Beer League Hockey Fans...

So a while ago, we had the pleasure of our interviewer-extraordinaire, Aubrey Parker, chat things up with Andrew Raycroft for our FarParker.com site...back when he was a stinkin', no good, Maple Leaf (thanks though Andrew - the interview was awesome!!). Now, Andrew has joined the NHL elite with a backup position to Bobby Lou.

As expected in this town of goalie gravediggers, Vancouver hype is huge for Raycroft - "the poor buggar has to backup the league's top goalie and will never see any action!" Well...BOO F'ING HOO. Thanks to our ever-accurate media for stirring up yet another pot to build frenzy. As a pretty crappy goalie who'll never see any real NHL action, I felt compelled to state my layman's view on this topic...cuz you know...us beer league guys know EVERYTHING about playing in the big time. Anyway:

Point #1 - Money. Now don't get me wrong, but if someone came and offered me half a MIL to sit and keep the pine warm for Lou's arse all year and basically not risk my body to potential injury, would I turn that down? Yeah...probably not.

Point #2 - Ice Time. Think Andrew doesn't get to see any action? Sweet bajesus, he's practicing daily with one of the league's top teams, opposite Bobby Lou. No offense to the guys in the other nets during my games, but hell...if I had Roberto down the ice, you can bet the farm I'd be pretty stocked.

Point #3 - Fan Experience. Okay...so you have to let fans admire your cool back-of-head haircut and how neat your name looks on the back of your jersey, but let's not forget you do get to show off in the pre-game warmup, or have crazed fans check you out at 8-Rinks during practice. And you still get a hockey card made of you...

Point #4 - Coolness. I don't care what any media dork says...playing in the NHL is cool, and you beat out tens of thousands of other wannabes like me who never made it. 60 guys get the privalege to state they're in the big show, and nothing can take that away. Plus, I like Raycroft's style.

Point #5 - Last One, I Promise. For those of you who've had the privalege like I have, playing at GM Place (and The Coliseum for that matter), is just awesome. And let me tell you...it's awesome with nobody in the stands. The ice is the best you'll ever get your ass slamed onto, you could run your tongue around every inch of the boards and not get also much as a blister, and looking up at all the seats, billboard ads and the juicy jumbotron just make being there an experience worth remembering. Some of the photos in my gallery are from those rinks, but I DON'T BE PAID NOTHIN to play there...

Am I jealous of Raycroft? You're damned right I am...

FarParker's Puck Gobbler Bio

"That's okay bud...you'll stop the next one...OR, Ooooh - that was SO close to being great save!...OR, Man...too bad you fell you over on that passout...OR my personal favourite, Holy shiz, are you on DOPE?!?"

Okay. I've heard them all, and yes - every once in a while I do just happen to make the odd save. I've been playing recreational hockey for about 12 years now as a goalie. I never learned to skate all that well, and figured I could be just as spectacular on ice as I had been the other 15 years on streets, ball hockey and lacrosse courts. Wrong. Goalies DO actualy have to know how to skate!

However bad I started out as though, it never once curbed my enthusiasm for the sport I have always loved, but never played "professionally." Donning the mask, I instantly became A GOALIE, and as I've always told my teammates, "hell - it's not how good I play, but how good I look playing." Darth Vader is BAD, but he sure looks cool...!!

With years and years of media and Internet experience behind me, when the opportunity was presented to work with FarParker himself in producing an online community for the fun and betterment of recreational athletes, I instantly ran in the other direction. A few head shots to the cage later, the lights started turning on and I agreed to pursue the challenge with piss 'n vinegar (4 cans of Canadian actually, but I digress...). The chance to exploit my love of hockey by engaging in an incredibly rewarding hobby such as FarParker.com has been a near dream come true. Not quite as intense as a personal training session with Luongo or Martin Brodeur, but pretty damned close.

We encourage you to hang out, try some of the fun stuff we have available, search for local businesses or equipment and read some of the outstanding content we have generated from our local area professionals to help improve the quality of your game, and maybe even your life. So...click back to another part of the site and go FarParker yourself. (But thanks for reading this...people usually don't listen much to the goalies!!)

A Beer League Goalie's Take on Andrew Raycroft Now with The Vancouver Canucks...

Hey...

So a while ago, we had the pleasure of our interviewer-extraordinaire, Aubrey Parker, chat things up with Andrew Raycroft on our site at www.FarParker.com...back when he was a stinkin', no good, Maple Leaf (thanks though Andrew - the interview was awesome!!). Now, Andrew has joined the NHL elite with a backup position to Bobby Lou.

As expected in this town of goalie gravediggers, hype is huge for Raycroft - "the poor buggar has to backup the league's top goalie and will never see any action!" Well...BOO F'ING HOO. Thanks to our ever-accurate media for stirring up yet another pot to build frenzy. As a pretty crappy goalie who'll never see any real NHL action, I felt compelled to state my layman's view on this topic...cuz you know...us beer league guys know EVERYTHING about playing in the big time. Anyway:

Point #1 - Money. Now don't get me wrong, but if someone came and offered me half a MIL to sit and keep the pine warm for Lou's arse all year and basically not risk my body to potential injury, would I turn that down? Yeah...probably not.

Point #2 - Ice Time. Think Andrew doesn't get to see any action? Sweet bajesus, he's practicing daily with one of the league's top teams, opposite Bobby Lou. No offense to the guys in the other nets during my games, but hell...if I had Roberto down the ice, you can bet the farm I'd be pretty stocked.

Point #3 - Fan Experience. Okay...so you have to let fans admire your cool back-of-head haircut and how neat your name looks on the back of your jersey, but let's not forget you do get to show off in the pre-game warmup, or have crazed fans check you out at 8-Rinks during practice. And you still get a hockey card made of you...

Point #4 - Coolness. I don't care what any media dork says...playing in the NHL is cool, and you beat out tens of thousands of other wannabes who never made it. 60 guys get the privalege to state they're in the big show, and nothing can take that away. Plus, I like Raycroft's style.

Point #5 - Last One, I Promise. For those of you who've had the privalege like I have, playing at GM Place (and The Coliseum for that matter), is just awesome. And let me tell you...it's awesome with nobody in the stands. The ice is the best you'll ever get your ass slamed onto, you could run your tongue around every inch of the boards and not get so much as a blister, and looking up at all the seats, billboard ads and the juicy jumbotron just make being there an experience worth remembering. Some of the photos in my gallery are from those rinks, but I DON'T BE PAID NOTHIN to play there...

Am I jealous of Raycroft? You're damned right I am...

Uh oh...is the season REALLY over?

Hmmm, my first blog on blogger.com...well I've already written my first at www.FarParker.com, which is a new beer league hockey community we're trying to get started here in Vancouver, but I suppose in the world of free online content it never hurts to try new arenas! Essentially, I just want to see what this whole blog page actually looks like once I've submitted something, and should get around to writing more of these as the spring season progresses. For now, we just wrapped up a great year at Hockey North America - the league in Delta, BC at the Great Pacific Forum. Thanks to my great team mates, I ended up in the top 5 of all league goalies. This is no small feat - I actually suck as a goalie. My real strength is in generating lots of luck, and big pads seem to help too. In fact, I was recently invited to their all-star and skills competition event, which was a real blast. I'm looking forward to seeing the video of all those pucks flying past me! Well...off I go to fix up my sticks, stich the holes in my gloves and dream of next season...well, maybe after a few Canadians...Cheers!