Expert Goalie Training 101...Tales from a Beer League Hack

Greetings Goalie fans, and welcome to a random rambling by FarParker’s PuckGobbler. (Take that name as you will - I have buddies whose comments on that nickname would leave you in hysterics, but for the curious I eat a lot of rubber.)

Today’s musings will focus on training for the non-trained goalie. Quick bit of history here…I’ve always loved hockey – ever since watching Peter Puck skate circles around those big, fat bastards with the no-curve sticks, and the goalies always fascinated me. Who in their right mind would argue how sinister Mike Liut’s “skull-style” mask looked when he played for St. Louis? (Insert link to attached photo) Regrettably though, I never played organized hockey growing up. Unless you consider my stellar performance on the streets or lacrosse boxes of my neighbourhoods as “experience,” my hockey ‘career’ didn’t take off until my 25^th year on Earth.

After repeated Monday nights of sweat-infested contact-cosom hockey with my buddies in a local school gym (it was kinda cool – big stereo system blasting out the best of Alice Cooper while we worked off the beer we just finished pounding…), one of my buddies asked me to play in the pipes on a real ice surface. (He obviously thought my floor hockey skills were easily transferable…) Okay, he really needed a goalie, and it was just saving pucks lobbed at me by a bunch of university friends, so I figured ‘what the hell?’

So, as with most starter-outers, I threw on my ball-hockey gear, tossed on some arena rental skates and hit the frozen pond for my first adventure into ‘real’ hockey. Took me all of two minutes to realize my skates didn’t have rubber grip like my steel-toed ball hockey boots. (Thanks Sean!!)

Training Tip #1 for Goalies: you actually DO need to know how to skate! Holy schnitzel, the rink’s rental skates were hopeless, and I took not one, not two, but THREE shots to the left toe. (This is now an asset in the summer, wearing thongs, when women comment on my huge toe, but we’ll that well-enough alone until a later date…)

Thing is though…I LOVED “REAL” HOCKEY! I couldn’t get enough of the way I could slide across the crease, instead of the stuck in peanut-butter maneuvers I used to try on the gym floor. The feel of cold ice was also such sweet heaven compared to the sweat-lodge sessions I was used to (can you believe I was actually PENALIZED one time for sweating too much during a roller-hockey league game…in AUGUST?!?). And as my quality of gear improved, I couldn’t help but feel just a bit closer to guys like Mike Liut (see image below). The new sport calling had come, and boy I was hooked. Until I took a buddy’s slap shot off the unpadded inside of my arm…

Training Tip #2: My Sharmin-filled chest protector wasn’t giving me quite the protection against a real puck that I had sufficed with saving whiffle balls and orange cosom pucks. Thus, proper padding is relatively important (it helps save your life, after all…)

Not having a clue how to really play the position in an actual arena, with an actual crease and real sized net, I learned the best way I could – I watched even more Hockey Night In Canada. You’d think I was a professor on gyno row the way I studied the positioning, moves & antics of the pros up close on my huge 27” TV (my, how far we’ve come in just a few years!), and after just one year, I grabbed a netminder position opening on a buddy’s Division 3 team at Burnaby 8-Rinks Arena (http://www.icesports.com/Burnaby_HomePage.ashx) After just one game, I realized Training Tip #2 meant ENTIRE body protection was important. This is right about when I realized my new passion would give me something I had never considered – the need to get a really good job.

Training Tip #3: Be “selective” when mentioning to potential employers you are a hockey goalie. Aside from the stigma that we’re all ax-wielding emotional psychotics, many bosses figure a hockey goalie is a walking liability against injury & sick days. When you meet a boss-type that doesn’t realize that, GRAB THE GIG.

Over the years, I began to notice that I was actually improving. Saves were more than goals-against suddenly, and I was learning skills like…skating (or, so I thought), pad-stacks and getting a good hook of some buggar’s crotch when he wouldn’t get out of my way. I started reading some goaltender training books and magazines (Maxim has always been my favourite) and continued to join more teams and leagues as my confidence soared!

Then…I came across a fellow by the name of Paul Fricker, who runs The Goalie Store (www.goaliestore.com) After a bit of chatting and reviewing the info from his site, I asked if he wouldn’t mind setting up a quick-and-dirty coaching session for myself and six other buddies who were in the exact same boat as mine. Paul agreed, provided I could find some ice time (now…that’s a whole other topic we’ll hit on later!!), and after weeks of searching for availability and coordinating with my goalie crew, we were set.

I can still remember the excitement we all shared in the cramped change room of Excellent Ice (www.excellentice.com) as we prepared for our first-ever training session by a former NHL goalie. When asked what we wanted to focus the 2 hours on, we blurted out at random things like “2-on-1’s, breakaways, pass-outs, positioning, stick handling, water bottle juggling…” Then we hit the ice.

Paul took a different approach than what we expected. He asked us all to calmly skate to center ice and back. What he saw must have made his lunch condense. I’ll tell you though, after just 30 minutes of intense (albeit quite simple) drills, we started understanding the fundamentals of skating and felt a new sense of accomplishment. We then learned how to position effectively, side-skate, power skate, track & reposition for rebounds, quell pass-out dangers and execute an almost-half decent butterfly save (I say 'almost half-decent' as from the photo below...I seemed to have this annoying "lazy susan" way of getting down fast. Now, my teammates throw quarters in front of the net, and boy I drop quick lately!)

This was the first paid training session I (and my other goalie buds) had ever attended, and will state without a doubt it was the best money I’ve spent on my game. Apart from my Eagle crotch-cup, cuz boy has THAT come in handy on a few occasions!! Paul was great – he expressed patience, kept control, but above all had us leaving the ice with an incredible amount of newfound competence and bravado that I doubt will ever be forgotten. Our goals were small, and primarily focused around being able to make just two or three extra saves per game, but when you’re used to seeing more rubber fly past you than at a frat party, this was a huge gain.

Training Tip #4: Always bring condoms to frat (and sorority) parties. I really have no idea why I just said that…but it must have had merit back in my UBC days…

Would I recommend paid-training to anyone considering this? Absolutely. And to all the guys on teams I’ve played for in the past, I can only apologise for not having done this sooner. Well…maybe a few of you defense guys could have bucked up for some training too…or a lot of training. Well, it’s actually always the D’s fault when a goal goes in…so maybe I don’t really need to apologise. Right goalies??? ;)

If anyone else has had experience with training programs, we’d love to hear about it – good programs…bad ones…great coaches or rink facilities? Please feel free to share your comments here in our forum, and enjoy your games!!

Disclaimer: FarParker does not necessarily share the opinions & statements expressed by a goalie. People seldom to listen to goalies anyway, unless you’re Luongo, so if you read this, the goalie who wrote it thanks you…

FarParker Gets a Great Review of the New HOKA Running Shoe!

Written by Graham Archer, B.Sc (Kin), C.Ped(C), President of the Pedorthic Association of Canada, 2010/2011

Hoka One One is a company that started in France by a couple of runners looking to create a shoe that allow for a feeling of freedom when running without sacrificing speed and running.

Their “Mafate” model is the first shoe made available in the Hoka One One line, and at the very least it has caught attention with its bright colours and balloon-looking midsole. In case you’re wondering, “Hoka” can loosely be translated to ‘Time to Fly’ in Maori and “One One” translated to Earth.

There are some key things to note about the midsole of the Mafate. Firstly, it uses very thick and soft EVA foam. The thickness of the midsole layer has allowed Hoka to use a soft material to keep weight to a minimum. Secondly, it is a rockered (curved) shoe, from the heel to the forefoot (front of the shoe). This rocker profile allows the foot to naturally transition from the heel to the forefoot during your stride, reducing stress and strain on the joints and soft tissues of the foot and ankle. The added benefit to the aggressive rocker is that it also increases the contact area of the shoe to the ground when running up and down hills.

My impressions of the Hoka One One Mafate are very positive. The shoes required virtually no break-in time, although the first run with them did feel different compared to running in a traditional trail running shoe. My legs felt a little heavier (due to a change in running motion, not because of the weight of the shoes) and it took about 20 minutes to get used to the increased cushioning in the shoes.

The biggest thing I noticed right away was how fast I could run downhill. Since I am an avid mountain bike rider, my first initial reaction to running downhill was similar to riding a suspension bike downhill versus a hardtail The thick cushioned sole absorbed all the rocks and roots in the train without any impact into my foot and it compressed to have more of the shoe in contact with the ground at all times. The extra contact and width at the outsole gave me a real feeling of stability, adding to my confidence level.

If there is one complaint about the shoes, it has got to be related to the funky colours and chunky look of the extra cushioned midsole. I have gotten used to the loud colours, but the more subdued colours that will be coming down the pipeline in the Spring of 2011 are more attractive to me.

At almost $170 it is not the most expensive trail shoe on the market but it is higher up on the price range for trail runners. The good news is that because of the thick midsole, the shoe does not break down as quickly as a traditional midsole in a tradition shoe. Therefore, over the life of the shoe you will be getting back your value for money. However, it is just a bit of a hit at the start.

Overall, with the Hoka Mafates, my feet and legs feel less fatigued after a run, and I feel like I am running faster. Shortly after this shoe test with the Hokas, I went for a run in one of my old trail runners, and they felt hard and stiff after running in the Mafates. I definitely feel “spoiled” after using the Mafate for a few weeks.

Graham Archer is Vice President of Pedorthic Services at Kintec and the President of the Pedorthic Association of Canada for 2010/2011. Graham joined Kintec in 2000 with a passion for helping people stay active on their feet. Graham holds a Bachelors of Kinesiology from Simon Fraser University and is a Canadian Certified Pedorthist with the College of Pedorthics of Canada. Outside of pedorthics, Graham spends his time riding and racing mountain bikes, fishing, trail-running and hanging with his wife and two daughters.

For More Great Articles and Tips on Hockey, Health, Sex and Fitness visit our free online community today at www.FarParker.com.  Thanks!

Muffin Tops – Great in the Kitchen, Not Over Your Pants!

Written for FarParker by Sarah Vandekerkhove, owner of Feminine Form Fine Lingerie



For those of you who don’t know what a muffin top is, let me give you a quick definition. It is the bulge over your pants that look like a muffin top. This is a particular problem for those of us who have had children, but don’t be fooled - it can affect people of all ages. Unfortunately for women, muffin top usually refers to us, where men get the glorious title of “beer gut.” Also, for men, their ‘hangings over’ are sometimes firm, where ours are usually quite a bit softer. Don’t fret as this can be fixed – or at least majorly improved without months of dieting and a 24/7 workout schedule!

Why does muffin top happen? Well, on teens and very young women, it is often because their pants are too tight. If the muffin top goes 360 degrees around the body, it indicates an ill-fitting garment and generally, muffin top is focused on the sides and front. Muffin top happens for a variety of reasons. The most obvious is due to extra fat. Loose oblique and abdominal muscles are also a contributing factor. For older woman it is usually due to a combination of factors including ageing skin which is no longer as elastic, and if you have had children, then you are prone to muffin top a lot earlier in life from the loose skin factor. Even extremely fit ladies can suffer from muffin top after having kids due to the stretching of the skin.


So I guess the big question on everyone’s mind is…how do you fix muffin top?!? If you strengthen your abdominal and oblique muscles this will firm up the area and decrease your muffin top, if not eliminate it altogether. Unfortunately, this is not always an easy feat, and some of us are not made to be a size six with firm everything. Also, the loose skin factor is a major issue, even with firm muscles. So, when in need of some outside assistance – literally – you need to enlist the help of a body shaper. The most commonly known body shaper is the girdle. Modern marketing has renamed those types of products as Spanx. There are actually many types of body shapers available, made by many brands, but Sara Blakely is just the best at marketing her brand. Each brand will have its strengths and weaknesses, and you need to identify which part of your body is giving you the most grief, and how often you want to deal with it. For example, does your muffin top bother you everyday, or only in that little black dress when you want to go out? Are you a bridesmaid – or bride, and need to be pulled in just so? Once you know what you need the item for, then you can choose which product will best suit you.


So, what is available to you in the body shaper world and where do you get it? Any good lingerie store will have body shapers, as will fine dress stores. You can also find them in department stores, though the variety will be limited with less assistance from the staff. Lingerie stores will have the latest and greatest, but department stores will have less expensive products. Again, it comes down to what kind of garment you need.


For lower abdominal control, you will want a control panty. All shapewear lines will carry a product that will have a control panel in the lower abdominal area. Many department store brands will carry panties with a front control panel. These are best suited for women who wear their pants at their true waist. You can also get midwaist control 360 degrees around. Some products will be available in a panty and others with a biker short type leg. Make certain when you are trying these items on that you ensure they are giving you the control you want - you don’t want to just push your flesh out the top. If there is a panty bottom, ensure that it is not giving you a visible panty line, or worse yet, a whole new bulge. This is why there are so many boyleg styles. It will smoothly cover your bum, and help with any hip fat control.


For full abdominal control, or simply general muffin top, you will need a product that comes all the way up to your rib cage. These products can sit at the bottom of your rib cage, or end up right up beneath your bra. The high waisted control usually provides 360 degree control. Often these products also come in the biker boy style, though not exclusively. When trying on this type, double check that it does not just push up your back fat over the top. Put your clothes back on, or better yet, the special outfit you need the product for, and then examine the results. You should see a marked difference. As a side note, the boyleg types can flatten your bottom if you don’t really have a round one. Voila is one brand that will give you full abdominal control, with a buttock lift.


If the pull-on bottoms are not for you, don’t despair. You can also get tank tops that will accomplish the same things. Tank tops are great for smoothing out your bra line, your underarm and your belly. As with the bottoms, there are many different brands with different control tensions. Most tuck into your pants; however some, such as Yummie Tummie, can be worn on the outside of your pants as a layering piece.


Finally, for more full body coverage, control slips are also out there on the market. They work the same as the others; they are just in a slip style. They can be much more comfortable under a dress as it still allows you to wear stay-ups, stockings or pantyhose. Slips are easier to get on, so if you suffer from arthritis or other conditions which limit your dexterity, this may be the optimal option for you.


Thanks for reading, and check us out for more information at FeminineForm. Go Canucks!

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